The Young Patients Committee (YPC) assists in fulfilling the mission of FPA by representing the interests of neuropathic facial pain patients under the age of 40. In 2021, YPC launched the Facial Pain Resiliency Academic Scholarship, available to students in the US between the ages of 18-40 attending college or university that have facial pain. Students who struggle with, or succeed in their fight against facial pain deserve assistance in their pursuit of a post-secondary education. Ambitious students who attend college despite their facial pain setbacks display impressive resolve, and the Young Patients Committee of the Facial Pain Association wants to recognize and reward these determined individuals. The FPA YPC is pleased to announce two recipients who each received a $500 scholarship.

Congratulations, Jennifer Hoeksema!

This scholarship is made available through donations and the generosity of people like you.

Read Jennifer’s winning essay below:

I was diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia (TN) in 2019, right before my 27th birthday, with an onset of excruciating electrical shocks on the left side of my face. The pain is so cruel and relentless, I would not wish it upon my worst enemy. Since being diagnosed, I have tried countless medications and have undergone two brain surgeries known as microvascular decompression (MVD). I have also become a college student and a mother, which I did not think would be possible when this all started in 2019. This condition makes stressful life events that much harder. Most people my age do not have to worry about a TN flare up that arises out of nowhere affecting their ability to complete their homework or get through school. As someone who struggled with infertility, I also had to think about how I would have a baby with trigeminal neuralgia in the mix, and through all of this, I remained a 4.0 GPA student in college. At times, I wondered if I would be able to complete my degree with this disorder, and if so, would I then be able to pursue my dream job? I have persevered while suffering with trigeminal neuralgia by prioritizing my mental health and by using my pain as fuel to help others.

When this all started, I was in a deep, dark, twisted place mentally. I still deal with anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) because of my trigeminal neuralgia. Many times, I have been in a place my mother refers to as “the hallway” with this condition. “The hallway” is a place of unknown and uncertainty, where you don’t quite know the outcome of a situation yet. With TN, most of my time was being spent here and I started to realize I may never get the medical answers I crave. So, what did I do? I went to therapy.

I learned a lot about myself and about the way I deal with my TN. I used to search endlessly on the internet (to an unhealthy degree, I might add) for answers. I did this for years. A wise therapist once told me, “Jen, there is pain and then there is suffering. You are suffering.” Suffering is the mental hardship we put ourselves through searching for answers, waiting for the next shock to happen, feeling like our lives are over. It does not have to be this way. There is no simple solution for dealing with TN but having a positive and realistic mindset has helped me extensively.

I started seeing my therapist, who specializes in chronic pain, every week to help me stay in a good space mentally, and I cannot recommend that more to my fellow trigeminal neuralgia warriors. I advise finding breathing techniques that can help ground you during a painful attack. It is important to remember when you are having an especially bad pain day, that tomorrow is still a new day. Find a way to enjoy the good parts of your life by deciding what you want to focus on. I am in frequent contact with my doctors to adjust medications if needed and update them on what is going on with me. It can take a while to find the right professionals to help you, but do not give up if you have a bad experience – the right people are out there. It is okay to give yourself time to cry, but you must pick yourself up again.

Honestly, I used to think having a positive mindset would do nothing for my TN. Over the years I have learned that while having a positive mindset does not take away the cruel, immense amount of pain I feel, it does help me lead a more fulfilling life. It takes a lot of work and effort to get to the space where you can get excruciatingly shocked in the face and then talk yourself back up. This is a process that takes constant perseverance, but it is indispensable.

Before having TN, I felt lost and did not know what my purpose in life was. Comically, it took me getting shocked in the face repeatedly to figure this out. I joined various support groups online and saw how much others were suffering too, and not just physically, but mentally as well. During times where I was really struggling, I would focus all my energy on trying to help someone else struggling. Over time, I came to realize that it made me feel a little better to do this. I started looking into volunteer positions where I could give back to an organization that helped people with trigeminal neuralgia.

After stumbling upon the Facial Pain Association, I noticed they had a volunteer position titled Peer Mentor. The position was very similar to what I already liked doing in the groups I was in. I immediately applied, and was soon helping guide patients through this tough disorder that I was also battling myself. I ended up changing my college major to psychology with the goal of becoming a mental health counselor. I want to dedicate my life to helping others deal with the mental health battles that I also have experience dealing with personally.

There are days where I look too far into the future and wonder if I can accomplish my education and career goals. When I start focusing on what the future of my chronic pain condition will look like, I remind myself to stay focused on today and appreciate the victories or losses as they come. Anyone with trigeminal neuralgia knows, it is a victory to get through each day of having this illness. I would advise fellow sufferers to be proud of themselves for dealing with something so tough that they did not choose.

Some people do not like the word “warrior,” but I believe it does take a warrior to face this pain and still thrive. It takes a warrior to seek help when we are scared. While we may not be able to choose what happens to us in life, we can control what we do about it.